IRISH REALITY TV fans have their own answer to Keeping Up With The Kardashians (sort of) with Ireland’s Oyster Clan, the first episode of which was aired tonight on TV3.

The show centres on the Louet-Feisser family, who run an oyster farm in Carlingford, Co Louth. The first episode introduced us to the owner Kian, his family, the farm, and a typical day at work for the lot of them. It’s billed as Ireland’s own version of Duck Dynasty, but does it match up?

Errr… yes. In that it makes very little sense.

House hunting was a key part of the first episode’s plot

Kian’s wife Mary bullies him into going house hunting (while brandishing a very large knife) so Kian is forced to leave the farm behind for a day to accompany her around Carlingford.

She later reveals that she doesn’t even want to move house, but organising a day of house hunting is the only way she can spend quality time with him. Riiight.

‘Tractor bench presses’ became a thing

Kian heads off with Mary for the day, so brother-in-law (and champion messer) Gary encourages the rest of the staff to slack off and lift some tractors for a bit of exercise. As you do.

As did ‘oyster tennis’

That’s alright lads, just destroy your precious product.

When they trapped a lad in a grate for four hours as a hilarious prank

OK, so we’re entirely sure this was a scripted bit. But it’s definitely against health and safety regulations.

“Viva la France! Mange tout, hah?”

This is how jack-the-lad Gary greets the ‘French VIP’ who comes to visit the oyster farm. Don’t worry though, the French VIP was later doing tractor bench presses with the lot of them.

So the Louet-Feissers aren’t quite as glam as the Kardashians, but they’re damn well close. Ireland’s Oyster Clan is on every Thursday at 8pm on TV3.

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